Off to School

There is so much pressure on parents these days especially when it comes to school! So much pressure on young children to read and write early, sitting at a desk with hardly any outside or play time. They say that Pre-K is the new Kindergarten. Not going to lie, this scares me! Noah is such a smart little boy with an amazing memory but the thought of him in a traditional pre-K was a little nerve wrecking to me and honestly I wasn't sold on the need for it. Noah is very high energy! He needs freedom to move and play with other kids something I wasn't quite sure he would get in a traditional program. When I started looking into different alternatives, I realized that there was a Waldorf school not even 4 miles away from our house. We went to one of their Tea & Play days and immediately fell in love with the school. The teachers are so gentle and understanding. The classroom works together as a community. They teach practical every day life skills like doing dishes, sweeping the floor and cleaning laundry. They also grind their own grains to make bread every week. The tuition however was little alarming! I applied for aid though and was shocked to see the amount we were awarded. It was more than I expected which made the decision to send him to AW much easier. Thank you Jesus!!

Noah's first week went amazing! There were absolutely no tears. He walked into the classroom willingly ready to play with his new friends; a reaction I had not expected. Every morning he would run down the sidewalk saying "I'm so excited Mom!!" Monday and Tuesday of the following week were amazing too in fact he walked into the classroom without a kiss or hug. Made me a little sad but very proud that he was so secure and independent.

"I'm so excited Mom!!"

Saying goodbye to Nosie, his favorite dog.

Ready for his first day!

Wednesday was hard though. Noah is all about routines and doing everything exactly the same way. (Maybe a little OCD) When things don't go as he expects, he has a meltdown. That's what happened Wednesday morning on the way to school. I got him calmed down and we walked into school. We tried talking to his teacher but he was so upset that both his teacher and myself thought it would be best if he stayed home.

So Monday morning this week was hard. I took him to school, we hung his jacket up and changed into his indoor shoes. Got to the door and right away he said, "I don't want to go to school Mom. I want to stay home with you." I have a feeling he was remembering what happened the week before and was hoping that it would work again this week. We talked about all of the fun things he would do that day and I reassured him that I would always come back and pick him up at lunch time. His teacher asked if it was ok that she pick him up and take him into the classroom. She told me that if the tears lasted too long that she would call me to come pick him up. I agreed and there were many tears for him. On the 5 minute ride home, I immediately started thinking, did I make the right choice? I posted in my local gentle parenting group about what happened asking if I was ruining my child or setting him up with trust issues because these were the thoughts running through my head. Kristen reassured me along with many other mothers that I did fine. "You're not creating any trust issues, don't worry. And you're right about him learning that it worked before, but since it hasn't been working this week you're experiencing a bit of an 'extinction burst' which means you're going to see the behavior expressed louder and stronger. It's. So. Hard. But yes, it will get easier." she told me. Thank God for this group!! When I picked him up at noon, he was smiling. His teacher told me he cried for 10 minutes, observed the kids for another 10 and then joined in to play. Yesterday he did the same thing, saying he wanted to stay home with me. I had to peel his hand off of my sweater as his teacher picked him up. At the end of the day, she said he cried for maybe 5 minutes and then joined in. Today he told me that he "didn't like school." and I reminded him of all the fun things that he did yesterday. When we got to school there were tears but we gave each other super big hugs and a kiss. His teacher picked him up and he melted right into her and into the classroom they went with no tears or screaming.

This morning I checked my email and found one from his teacher. She sent me some photos from this week and said he's having so much fun once he settles down. Tears immediately fell down my face. His teacher puts 110% into what she does and I'm so thankful that we have the opportunity to send Noah here this year. He's exactly where he needs to be. Fingers crossed that next week has better drop offs! Prayers are definitely appreciated <3

Sewing

Making his bread

Grinding the grain

Letting Go

It's been a week since Noah has asked to nurse. My spunky, strong willed, spirited 3.5 year old (45 months old if we want to get technical) has officially self weaned. To be honest I wasn't sure this was going to come any time soon and thought for sure he'd be four and still nursing. With the warm temperatures and wonderful weather though, he's been playing outside pretty much all day which makes bedtime fairly easy now. He simply falls asleep while I'm rocking Felix.

I'm sure some are asking yourself, how and why did I let him nurse so long?! To be honest it was just a natural progression. When he turned 1, it never felt right to wean him. I always wondered how we as a society got that cut off. It's not like they simply "grow up" the moment they turn a year old and become independent. The World Health Organization actually recommends breastfeeding till at least 2 years and beyond and I knew the many benefits just didn't go away after a certain amount of time. I felt comfortable in my decision but of course had some backlash here and there. Thankfully there is a very supportive breastfeeding community in the Buffalo area. If you are interested in knowing the benefits of extended breastfeeding or nursing till natural term look here and here. There are also a lot of great charts out there with the benefits listed!

I got pregnant with Felix when Noah was 16 months and thought for sure that would have made him wean (many moms notice a significant drop in their supply) but being my high needs little boy, he still needed that sense of security and it was awesome to be able to give him what little milk I had when he was sick. I tried a few times during the later half of my pregnancy to wean him because I wasn't sure if I could handle nursing 2 babes but it was too traumatic for him. For those who have spirited little ones, you know what I mean! It was around this time that I decided I'd try to let him self wean so we kept going but I started putting some limits on him and he started falling asleep on his own instead of at the breast. And after all his teeth came in, he even started sleeping through the night. After Fe was born, of course he was in heaven because he had all this milk again (haha) and we began our tandem nursing journey. Again I found myself needing to put some limits on him otherwise he would have nursed every time Felix and that would have just drove me crazy :p Though it was a little stressful, it helped the boys bond quicker. They would hold hands or brush each other's cheek. It really was the sweetest thing. It also did wonders when Noah was in super tantrum mode unable to handle his big feelings. As time went on and we got closer to three years he was only nursing 2-3 times a day usually at nap, bedtime and occasionally when he woke up. He started dropping naps around 3.5 years and falling asleep with Daddy on the couch. He would only ask to nurse every couple of days or so. He was becoming independent all on his own! He didn't need me to help him fall asleep anymore. He was able, he was ready to make this change. He wanted hugs now instead of milk when he was upset. Although I'm a little sad to see this journey end, I'm extremely proud!! And I think I'm allowed to be. 45 months is a freaking long time! Whatever breastfeeding goals you have met, be proud of it! Whether you nursed your baby a week, a few months or years. Be proud of your journey. <3

This is a picture I took a few months at my parent's house. I remember him being very upset about something and needing some chill time with mommy. He was crying, kicking and asked if he could have milk. Instant peace and calmness. Moments like this made our journey worth everything and show just how little he still is.